Growing Attached
by Jose Argao
Summary: Keitaro and Motoko grow more attached to each other in this fic, though not necessarily in a way that they would have liked!


Disclaimer: I really shouldn't be writing any of this. The characters  
  
in the story aren't mine, you see. I can't help myself, though. Please  
  
understand. It's not like I'm making any money by writing this anyway.  
  
Please don't sue.  
  
Warning: Kinda limey, but that's to be expected in a Love Hina fic.  
  
"words"  
  
'thoughts'  
  
Growing Attached  
  
by Jose Argao  
  
"You know, when two people who love each other go to Todai  
  
together, they'll live happily ever after. Let's meet there when we  
  
grow older, okay? Can you do that, Kei-kun?"  
  
Keitaro turned towards the girl who had been his friend as a  
  
child and nodded excitedly. He would go through the gates of hell and  
  
smash Mephisto's Soul Stone on the Hellforge if she wanted him to.  
  
Going to Todai was nothing. Of course he could go.  
  
"That's great, Kei-kun. Don't forget your promise!"  
  
At that, the girl leaned towards Keitaro and gave him a  
  
small peck on the cheek. A friendly kiss to seal a promise that would  
  
shape the rest of one young man's life. Keitaro shyly closed his eyes  
  
and blushed bright red.  
  
"Keitaro, we did it! We passed!"  
  
Keitaro opened his eyes and looked his surroundings. He was  
  
no longer five years old. He was no longer at the playground near the  
  
Hinatasou. He was standing in front of the bulletin boards that listed  
  
the students who passed Tokyo University's entrance exams, and his  
  
name was right there on the list! Naru, Mutsumi, and the rest of the  
  
residents of Hinatasou were standing around him, smiling with approval.  
  
Naru slowly approached him and shook his hand firmly.  
  
"Congratulations, Keitaro. You've earned this."  
  
Suddenly, Keitaro found himself the recipient of a huge  
  
group-hug from the girls. He became acutely aware of the close contact  
  
between them. Keitaro found himself closing his eyes and bushing once  
  
more.  
  
"Keitaro, what's wrong? Don't you like your present?"  
  
Keitaro opened his eyes and found that he was now lying on a  
  
king-sized bed in the middle an unfamiliar room. The sheets appeared to  
  
be made of silk and a large mirror was hanging from the ceiling. From  
  
the reflection, he could tell that he was lying on Mutsumi's lap and  
  
that she was playing with his hair. Naru was lying beside him and  
  
lazily tracing circles on his chest. The other tenants of Hinatasou  
  
were arranged all around him. They were dressed in transparent, filmy  
  
negligees that left nothing to the imagination. He struggled to hold  
  
back a massive nosebleed that threatened to dump his body's entire  
  
blood supply onto the bed.  
  
"It's okay, Keitaro. The girls and I have discussed this  
  
beforehand," Naru whispered, her voice dripping with honey.  
  
"You've worked so hard to get into Todai... we didn't want you  
  
to work even more just to choose which one of us you like. You can have   
  
us all, Keitaro. Isn't that what you want?"  
  
The threat of the nosebleed immediately vanished as Keitaro's  
  
body rerouted the flow of his blood and directed it towards his lower  
  
extremities. Todai-schmodai... this was the stuff dreams were made  
  
of. His hands reached out to touch Naru when she swatted it away with  
  
a flick of her arm.  
  
"Not so fast, Kei-kun. We drew straws to see who would get  
  
to be your first, and someone else won the honor of getting first crack   
  
at you."  
  
Keitaro's eyes widened as Naru stood up to make way for none  
  
other than....  
  
"Aunt Haruka!?!"  
  
Keitaro froze as his aunt, wearing next to nothing, crawled on  
  
top of him and whispered into his ear.  
  
"Don't worry, I'll be gentle."  
  
"Noooooo!"  
  
Keitaro awoke with a start, his heart pounding. He was  
  
looking up at the ceiling of his bedroom. He could see that the hole  
  
leading to Narusegawa's room covered with a piece of wood as always.  
  
There was a little light coming through the windows, indicating that  
  
it was very early in the morning. He heaved a sigh of relief and  
  
closed his eyes once again. That was a crazy nightmare he'd just  
  
experienced. Thank god it was finally over.  
  
"Stop moving around, Keitaro. This is hard enough as it is  
  
without your squirming. Get it? Hard enough as it is?"  
  
Immediately after hearing those words, Keitaro opened his eyes  
  
once again and took in a more complete view of his surroundings. This  
  
inspection quickly revealed that Kitsune was sitting beside him, a wide  
  
grin on her face. He opened his mouth to ask what she was doing there,  
  
but she silenced him by putting one of her dainty fingers against his  
  
lips.  
  
"I told you to stop moving. Don't worry, I'll be done with this  
  
in a second."  
  
Keitaro frowned at Kitsune's words, not sure what she meant.  
  
He saw that she was looking downwards, and he turned his head to see  
  
what it was she was staring at. He immediately noticed that his pajama  
  
bottoms and boxer shorts had been pulled down, and that Kitsune was  
  
holding what appeared to be a long, wooden object against a delicate  
  
part of his anatomy. Too shocked to even move, Keitaro watched   
  
wordlessly as she took a pencil from her pocket and made a small mark  
  
on the stick.  
  
"Waaaah!"  
  
Regaining his senses, Keitaro pushed Kitsune away and ran for  
  
the light switch, flicking it on even as he pulled his pajama bottoms  
  
and shorts back up. He reached for his glasses from a side table and  
  
put them on before turning to face her.  
  
"Kitsune-san, just what do you think you're doing?"  
  
Keitaro's tenant smiled sheepishly at him. "Well, I was just  
  
thinking, you know. You've seen me naked plenty of times, but I've  
  
never seen you naked. I wanted to take a look at it and... well... I  
  
thought as long as I was looking I might as well measure it, right?"  
  
A frown took shape on Keitaro's face. "With a yardstick?"  
  
Kitsune giggled. "What can I say? I was hoping to be pleasantly   
  
surprised."  
  
Keitaro's mouth dropped open in shock. "That... that makes no  
  
sense at all! You... I... what if... this isn't... I can't...."  
  
Kitsune looked at her measuring instrument, ignoring Keitaro's  
  
babbling. Her grin disappeared, replaced with a look of awe.  
  
"Thirty inches! Keitaro you stud! That's amazing! How did you  
  
hide this from me?"  
  
Keitaro raised his fist in indignation. "You started measuring  
  
from the wrong end!"  
  
Kitsune frowned, shrugging as she did so. "Really? Too bad. Oh  
  
well, at least I got what I came for. The girls will flip when I show  
  
this to them!"  
  
Keitaro's face went white. If Naru heard that Kitsune had  
  
gone into his room in the middle of the night, she would be sure to  
  
misunderstand. "You can't tell any of them about this! Give that to  
  
me."  
  
Kitsune pouted. "I don't want to. It's mine! You can't  
  
have it."  
  
Keitaro pounced towards Kitsune, but she bolted out of the  
  
room. The sneaky resident of Hinatasou ran off, Keitaro in hot pursuit.  
  
Shinobu woke up feeling refreshed, excited about facing the  
  
new day. She did some stretches to wake up her muscles and started  
  
walking out of her room to go to the kitchen. She still had to cook  
  
breakfast for everyone before she could shower and get ready for  
  
the day, but she was used to doing it. There was a spring in her step  
  
as she slid open the door to her room and stepped onto the hallway.  
  
Shinobu hadn't always been this way. It wasn't too long ago  
  
that she regarded mornings with dread, overwhelmed by the challenges  
  
she would have to face before evening came and she could go back  
  
home.  
  
Things were different now. Her sempai, Keitaro, had given her  
  
a new perspective on life. He taught her tackle the challenges of life  
  
head-on. He was really amazing. Motoko-sempai often told her that he  
  
was just like any other guy, always trying to take advantage of women,  
  
but that was just wrong. Keitaro-sempai wasn't the type to go around  
  
chasing after girls. It just wasn't like him.  
  
"Catch me if you can, Karinin-san!"  
  
Shinobu was nearly knocked over as Kitsune ran past the  
  
young girl, carrying what looked like a stick. The impact sent her  
  
spinning rapidly towards the floor. Shinobu had barely regained her  
  
balance when Keitaro ran past her as well, getting similar results.  
  
"Sempai?"  
  
"Hmmm... if I remove the master control apparatus and the  
  
safety catch here, I can make room for a self-destruct feature and  
  
a place to store the nuclear material...."  
  
Su made the necessary adjustments to turn her blender into  
  
a weapon of mass destruction even as she heard the door to her room  
  
slide open, the sound of rapid footsteps indicating that a chase was  
  
going on. A chase! Right in her room! Such fun!  
  
Quickly putting away her work, Su jumped into the air and,  
  
with perfect precision, fell right on top of Keitaro. Instinctively,  
  
her legs clamped around Keitaro's neck and her left hand grabbed  
  
hold of his hair. She raised her right hand into the air and let loose  
  
with a shrill battle cry.  
  
"Onward, Keitaro! Together, we shall capture that fleeing fox  
  
and tie her up so that we may visit unspeakable acts upon her person!  
  
Then, all our enemies will learn to fear the partnership of Urashima  
  
and Su!"  
  
Keitaro stopped running momentarily as he tried to get Su to  
  
stop pulling his hair. He succeeded, but not a second had passed after  
  
he had pulled her hand off before it found a new home on top of his  
  
eyes, blocking his view.  
  
"Su, what are you doing? Let go of me, and stop saying those  
  
cheesy lines you read in mangas. You don't even know what they mean!"  
  
To Keitaro's surprise, Su immediately complied with his  
  
request. The bubbly girl bounded over to one of the walls of her room  
  
and opened a hidden panel in one of them. From inside it, she retrieved   
  
what looked like a pair of mechanized handcuffs.  
  
"You're trying to catch Kitsune, right? I'm going to help  
  
you with my latest invention, the mecha-cuffs two thousand! With my  
  
help, you can... hey, wait for me!"  
  
Haruka opened the door to the Hinatasou to check up on her  
  
nephew. She was greeted by the sight of Kitsune running down the hall  
  
holding a yardstick, Keitaro chasing after her, and Su bringing up  
  
the rear carrying a pair of handcuffs. She nodded her head and closed  
  
the door to get back to her tea shop.  
  
"Everything seems to be normal around here. I'd better leave  
  
before something weird happens."  
  
"Catch me if you can, slowpokes!"  
  
Kitsune ran like she had never run before in her life. In her  
  
right hand, she held the yardstick that Keitaro wanted to take from  
  
her. Why hadn't she thought of doing this before? This was way better  
  
than lying around and watching TV.  
  
"Stop running and give me that yardstick!"  
  
Keitaro was hard to lose, though, and he could run fast.  
  
In hindsight, she should have known he was a good runner. It had taken  
  
the combined efforts of all the tenants to chase him down on his first  
  
day at Hinatasou, after all.  
  
Still, the important thing right now was to stay one step  
  
ahead of him. Kitsune paused for a moment at an intersection, trying  
  
to decide which way to go. She was interrupted by the cheerful voice  
  
of Kaolla Su.  
  
"There's no escape for you now, fox-lady! Mecha-cuffs go!"  
  
Su was chasing her too! Why was Su chasing her? Had the little  
  
brat joined forces with Keitaro in a diabolical scheme to capture her  
  
and visit unspeakable acts upon her person? What were those futuristic  
  
handcuff things that Su was throwing at her anyway?  
  
Kitsune turned in the opposite direction and found that  
  
Keitaro was rapidly closing in on her as well. Blocked off on both  
  
sides, she had no choice but to simply close her eyes and brace  
  
herself for impact.  
  
"Aaaargh! I give up! I can't get back to sleep with all  
  
this noise!"  
  
Naru threw away the pillow she had been using to cover her  
  
ears and muttered angry threats directed at Keitaro under her breath.  
  
Didn't the jerk understand that she'd been up late last night studying?  
  
Why did he have to make such a racket in the morning?  
  
The pretty redhead got up from her bed, intent on finding  
  
Keitaro so she could give him a sound ass-kicking. She was halfway  
  
to the door when she heard a very loud crash, followed closely by  
  
an eerie silence. Naru stopped, listened for a few more seconds,  
  
then went back to bed. Apparently, someone else had gotten to him  
  
first.  
  
Next time, she would have to move faster. It simply wouldn't  
  
do to let the others think that they could just punish her Keitaro  
  
anytime they wanted, not that she liked him or anything of course.   
  
"Well, that was unexpected."  
  
Kitsune looked at Su, who had a grin on her face that was so  
  
wide it looked downright painful. The yardstick that had instigated  
  
the wild chase she had just been in lay beside her feet, momentarily  
  
forgotten. Su scratched behind her head and giggled nervously.  
  
"It appears that the targeting systems could use a bit more  
  
work. Oh well, that was just a beta-version anyway. The next one will  
  
be sure to work. Bye-bye!"  
  
So saying, Su jumped out of the house through an open window  
  
and bounded off into the unknown.  
  
Left alone, Kitsune stared blankly at the hallway. There,  
  
just moments ago, Keitaro had been ensnared by Su's newest invention  
  
as he ran towards her. The mechanical handcuffs flew right past her,  
  
somehow managing to hit Keitaro's legs before clamping shut, causing  
  
him to fall and roll across the floor, driven by his momentum.  
  
Kitsune turned towards the door Keitaro had smashed through.  
  
It now had a large, Keitaro-shaped hole in the middle where he had  
  
passed through it. There wasn't enough light to make the inside, but  
  
she had no intentions of going closer to take a better look. Kitsune  
  
picked up the yardstick, turned around, and walked away with a shrug.  
  
'Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. If Keitaro survives, I  
  
can do it all over again tomorrow!'  
  
"Urashima, get off me!"  
  
Keitaro felt himself being thrown into the air and hitting  
  
his head on a wall. He opened his eyes and was greeted by the visage  
  
of a very angry Motoko. She was breathing deeply. Her eyes were red  
  
with rage, her cheeks were crimson with embarrassment, and her mind  
  
was no doubt filled with murderous intent.  
  
Keitaro racked his mind for something to say that could save  
  
him from death at Motoko's hands. "Motoko-chan, it was an accident!  
  
I didn't mean to--"  
  
"Silence! This is completely unforgivable! To barge into a  
  
young woman's bedroom and try to force yourself onto her, Keitaro you  
  
are the lowest! You shall pay for this with your life!"  
  
With practiced ease, Motoko pulled her sword out of its  
  
scabbard in order to punish Keitaro with one of her secret sword  
  
techniques. As she did so, the top half of the sword snapped off and  
  
fell to the floor with a loud clang. The two of them watched it  
  
bounce once and skid towards a wall before coming to a stop.  
  
Motoko's face darkened with unsuppressed rage. "Not only did  
  
you attempt to take away my innocence, you also broke my sword! For  
  
that, I shall pull your heart out from inside your chest with my  
  
bare hands!"  
  
Keitaro tried to pacify the angry woman before she had the  
  
chance to carry out her threat. "Wait, I can fix it!"  
  
Motoko shook her head. "Fix it? How can you fix it? You know  
  
nothing about re-forging swords."  
  
"No, but I can glue it back together," Keitaro replied quickly.  
  
Motoko grabbed Keitaro by his neck and lifted him an inch off  
  
the floor. "Fix my sword with glue? Is this your idea of a joke?"  
  
Keitaro frantically tried to get Motoko to listen to his  
  
suggestion. "No, I'm totally serious! Seta-san gave me this incredible  
  
glue that fixes everything. I use it to fix Seta-san's pottery, and  
  
it works on metal too! You can't even see the seams! You know that van  
  
of his? It keeps getting destroyed, then rebuilt. He uses the glue to  
  
fix the van!"  
  
Motoko paused, thinking to herself. If this glue that Keitaro  
  
was talking about was really all that he claimed it to be, then it just  
  
might be able to repair her sword. There was everything to gain and  
  
nothing to lose by letting him have a go with it. If Keitaro couldn't  
  
fix her weapon, she could still kick his ass anyway.  
  
Motoko let go of her captive, sending Keitaro sprawling onto  
  
the floor. "Fine then. I'm going to take a bath. You had better be done  
  
repairing my sword before I get back, or there will be hell to pay."  
  
"Has anybody seen Keitaro? I took a long bath and he didn't  
  
try to peep on me. I didn't see him at breakfast, either. I tried  
  
checking in his room but he wasn't there. He isn't sick or anything,  
  
is he?"  
  
Naru sat down at the living room where Kitsune was lounging  
  
around. Her friend answered the question with a dismissive wave of the  
  
hand. "I saw him go into Motoko's room earlier. He might have tried to  
  
do something perverted and made her use her sword on him."  
  
Naru nodded slowly, leaning her head back and closing her  
  
eyes. "Yeah, that must be it. I heard some noise earlier today... that  
  
might have been the two of them. They woke me up too early, and I slept  
  
late last night too. It was kinda annoying."  
  
Naru smiled, finally understanding what must have happened to  
  
Keitaro. "Actually, now that I think of it, I did see Motoko going into   
  
the bath as I was leaving. She must have worked up a sweat dealing with   
  
that perverted idiot."  
  
Kitsune nodded slowly, an idea forming in her head. "You know,  
  
you just might be right about that. Worked up a sweat indeed...."  
  
"It's done, and Motoko-chan isn't back yet! Yatta!"  
  
Keitaro jumped with joy, holding Motoko's newly repaired  
  
sword in his right hand. The glue had worked wonderfully, just as he'd  
  
hoped. His day had started horribly, but it looked like his luck was  
  
finally coming around. With Motoko's sword fixed, he wouldn't have  
  
to endure another one of her sword techniques. He put the tube of glue  
  
he'd used to fix Motoko's blade on top of a low table and looked at  
  
the weapon in his hand.  
  
'It's kinda amazing, though. To think that a young girl like  
  
Motoko-chan can do those kinds of attacks with this sword....'  
  
Keitaro examined the weapon, looking for any magical runes or  
  
inscriptions that might have been carved into the blade. He wasn't  
  
able to find anything, though. The sword didn't look like there was  
  
anything special about it.  
  
'I wonder if there's some kind of trick to get it to work....'  
  
Keitaro raised the sword into the air and swung it to his  
  
front, his face breaking into a grin as he did so. "Hey, this isn't  
  
all that hard. Actually, it's kinda fu--"  
  
"Urashima, just what do you think you're doing? That's not a  
  
toy! Give it to me!"  
  
Keitaro quickly turned towards the source of the voice and  
  
found Motoko running through the door towards him, wearing her her  
  
white gi and hakama. He was holding the sword with the blade  
  
perpendicular to his body, and it was all Motoko could do to dart  
  
to her left in order to avoid getting skewered by it.  
  
As Motoko dodged, however, Keitaro himself moved the sword in  
  
an effort to avoid stabbing her. As luck would have it, Keitaro swung  
  
the sword right in the direction where she had moved. Motoko was able  
  
to dodge the sword a second time, but she lost her balance when she did   
  
so. The young swordswoman crashed directly into Keitaro, the collision  
  
causing their heads to get knocked together and rendering both of them  
  
unconscious.  
  
"Zanmaken!"  
  
Motoko slashed at her opponent, her strike firing off a series  
  
of pressurized wind projectiles that shattered everything they collided  
  
with. Her adversary nimbly dodged them all, however, frustrating her  
  
efforts to defeat him.  
  
Beads of sweat began to form on Motoko's forehead. Who was  
  
this strange opponent whose face was covered with a dark mask? The  
  
revealed nothing but his eyes, but she could see them light up with  
  
a crimson glow that sent chills down her spine. He was wearing an  
  
all-black set of traditional ninja garb, and he was kicking her  
  
ass. How was that possible? How could he seemingly read her mind and  
  
effortlessly avoid all of her attacks? What was he--  
  
"Aaargh!"  
  
Motoko found herself thrown into the air by the force of the  
  
unknown man's attack. She had been able to block it at the last second,  
  
but her form was poor and she wasn't able to properly deflect the  
  
force of the attack.  
  
Motoko lost her grip on her weapon and fell to the ground  
  
with a loud thud, her sword landing several meters away from her. When  
  
she opened her eyes, the unknown man's sword was already pointed at  
  
her throat. Motoko glared daggers at him, but they both knew she had  
  
already lost.  
  
The man reached towards his mask and pulled it off with  
  
flourish. Motoko's eyes widened when she realized just who had been  
  
able to best her in combat.  
  
"U... Urashima?"  
  
Motoko was unable to get any more words out before another  
  
voice interrupted her. "I am disappointed, Motoko-chan. To think that  
  
you would be defeated easily by this man. Then again, it is no great  
  
surprise. He is my husband, after all."  
  
Motoko turned quickly towards the direction the voice was  
  
coming from. The image that was revealed to her confirmed her worst  
  
fears. "Onee-chan? Is that you?"  
  
Motoko's beautiful sister stepped dispassionately towards  
  
Keitaro and pulled him into her arms. She glanced disdainfully at  
  
Motoko before speaking once more.  
  
"Do not bother with that weakling, my love. She is not worthy  
  
of your attention."  
  
Seeing that Keitaro was no longer threatening to cut her throat  
  
with his sword, Motoko quickly got to her feet.  
  
"This is impossible! It can't be happening. I know for a fact  
  
that it was not Keitaro that you married, Onee-chan. I was there!"  
  
Motoko's sister chuckled at her words. "My dear sister, this  
  
is but one of many human forms that my husband can assume. His true  
  
identity is that of Leonardo, a teenage mutant ninja turtle!"  
  
At that, Keitaro grabbed a handful of flesh at his neck and  
  
pulled on his skin as though it were a mask. After quickly ripping off  
  
his skin, he stood before Motoko with a wry grin on his face and the  
  
body of a creature so horrifying that she couldn't even think the word  
  
that people called it with.  
  
"So Motoko, how does it feel to lose to a turtle?"  
  
"Have any of you guys seen Keitaro-sempai? I haven't seen him  
  
since this morning and he hasn't eaten breakfast. He's not in his room,  
  
either. I'm kinda worried...."  
  
Kitsune frowned and turned her gaze towards Shinobu, who was  
  
standing in the middle of the living room and blocking her view of the  
  
television set. She then turned towards Naru, who was sitting on the  
  
couch beside her and trying to pretend that she wasn't listening.  
  
The two girls obviously had a thing for Keitaro, but insisted  
  
that the opposite was true. If she hadn't known any better, Kitsune  
  
would have thought they were sisters or something. As it was, she was  
  
content to think of them as a renewable source of entertainment.  
  
"He went into Motoko's room earlier today. Naru was saying  
  
something about the two of them doing perverted things and working up  
  
a sweat or something."  
  
Shinobu's face went pale and her eyes started to fade away into  
  
strange, spiral patterns. Kitsune had seen this happen before, and she  
  
knew that Shinobu would be fainting any moment now. Naru quickly got up   
  
from her seat and caught the young girl just as she started falling to  
  
the floor.  
  
"Shinobu-chan, don't get the wrong idea! I was just thinking  
  
that Keitaro might have tried to do something perverted and Motoko  
  
might have worked up a sweat getting rid of him, that's all! Shinobu,  
  
wake up!"  
  
Shinobu's eyes slowly fluttered open. "Oh, was that it? I guess  
  
it wasn't what I thought, then. Thank god."  
  
Naru looked at Kitsune with accusing eyes. "Kitsune, why did  
  
you say that anyway? You knew that Shinobu would misunderstand! You  
  
shouldn't go around saying things like that. What if someone else had  
  
overheard? Rumors might start going around about Motoko and Keitaro,  
  
despite the fact that something like that would never happen. Motoko  
  
and Keitaro doing perverted things together... it's impossible! She  
  
doesn't even like him. No one likes him! That includes me, you know.  
  
Liking a perverted idiot like Keitaro is impossible!"  
  
Kitsune just smiled enigmatically at Naru. "Oh, I wouldn't go  
  
so far as to say it's impossible. Keitaro may be a wimp and an idiot,  
  
but he has another thing going for him that other men may find hard to  
  
match."  
  
"Nooooooo!"  
  
Motoko awakened and sat up immediately, scanning her  
  
surroundings for any signs of recent turtle activity. Seeing none,  
  
she sighed with relief and shook her head. That may have been  
  
the single worst nightmare she had ever experienced, and that was  
  
counting the time she dreamed that she was actually a character in  
  
a manga and that she was fated to fall in love with Keitaro.  
  
'Urashima... my sword!'  
  
The mention of Keitaro jogged Motoko's memory and reminded her  
  
of what had caused her to become unconscious in the first place. She  
  
found her sword lying beside her and examined it. The blade was fixed,  
  
just as Urashima had promised. She could not even tell where the break  
  
had been. A few trial slashes with her sword revealed that it appeared  
  
to be like new. Motoko made a mental note to ask Keitaro later about  
  
where she could obtain some of his glue for herself.  
  
Motoko moved to get up, but found that she could not. Thinking  
  
that she must have snagged something on the floor, she turned her head  
  
to see what it was, Motoko's mouth fell open in shock with what she  
  
saw.  
  
Lying underneath her, on top of a pile of broken wood that  
  
probably used to be her table, was Keitaro. He was unconscious, and  
  
his hand was latched firmly onto her buttocks. It was his grip, in  
  
fact, that prevented her from standing up in the first place. To say  
  
that Motoko flew into a rage would be an understatement.  
  
"Urashima! If you value your life, you will remove your vile  
  
hand from my bottom right this instant!"  
  
Forgetting that she had a sword in her anger, Motoko picked  
  
up a piece of wood lying on the floor and started repeatedly striking  
  
Keitaro with it. While her attacks did not succeed in getting him  
  
to let go of her, they did wake him up rather quickly.  
  
"Ow... ouch... ouch! Naru-chan, I'm sorry!"  
  
Motoko paused briefly in her assault to wonder at Keitaro's  
  
choice of words. What had Narusegawa done to this man that he would  
  
automatically assume that she was responsible for any pain he was  
  
feeling?  
  
Meanwhile, as Motoko was thinking, Keitaro managed to open  
  
his eyes and examine his surroundings. Unlike his female companion,  
  
Keitaro immediately noticed the dangerous position his right hand  
  
was occupying and yanked it towards himself with all his strength.  
  
The result of his efforts was most unexpected.  
  
"Urashima, you show your true colors at last! How dare you  
  
pull me on top of you like that! This is an outrage! You will not live  
  
to see the dawning of another day!"  
  
For his part, Keitaro frantically tried to let go of Motoko  
  
with all his might. All he succeeded in doing, however, was to do an  
  
expert job of feeling her up. He stopped moving when he saw that she  
  
had her sword pointed at his neck, though.  
  
Motoko's face was a mask of anger as she spoke. "Urashima, you  
  
have five seconds to let go of me. If you do not, I will kill you."  
  
Keitaro tugged once more on his arm, to no avail. He grinned  
  
nervously as he gave voice to his problem. "Er... Motoko-chan... my  
  
hand won't come off."  
  
Motoko trembled with rage. "What are you talking about, you  
  
miserable little cretin? If you refuse to let go of me, I will do it  
  
for you!"  
  
So saying, Motoko grabbed Keitaro's hand and pulled on it.  
  
"Your... grip... is rather... strong...."  
  
Keitaro shook his head. "No it's not! I'm not gripping at all!  
  
Honest!"  
  
Motoko rolled her eyes. "Enough with the excuses, Urashima.  
  
How can that be when... no...."  
  
Motoko stared at the area where she had been sitting when she  
  
initially woke up. She reached towards it and picked up a small, empty  
  
tube. "Urashima, look closely at your hand. Do you see anything strange   
  
about it?"  
  
Keitaro had no idea what Motoko was talking about, but he  
  
looked anyway. "I don't see anything strange, really. Well, there's  
  
this weird flaky stuff here... it doesn't seem to be coming off. I'm  
  
not sure what it is, but my hand is covered with it."  
  
Motoko closed her eyes in defeat. "Tell me, Urashima, does  
  
it look anything like dried glue?"  
  
Keitaro looked at the substance covering his hand once more.  
  
"Well, now that you mention it, it does kinda look like....  
  
Oh my god! I'm so sorry! Please don't kill me!"  
  
Motoko shook her head sadly. She turned to Keitaro with an  
  
encouraging smile. "Relax, Urashima-san. I'm not going to kill you.  
  
I'm not even angry at you. I can see that what happened was an  
  
accident."  
  
Keitaro reluctantly relaxed. "You're... not angry?"  
  
Motoko nodded her head in reply to Keitaro's query. "Of course  
  
I'm not angry. You're not the one at fault here. If anything, I should  
  
be the one to apologize. After all, it was I who startled you and lost  
  
my balance."  
  
Keitaro breathed a huge sigh of relief. "Well gee... thanks.  
  
I'm glad that you can think this through with a clear head. To be  
  
honest, Motoko-chan, I was afraid you were going to panic!"  
  
Motoko chuckled softly. "The way of the sword does not  
  
encourage loss of self-control, Urashima. Surely, a man of honor such  
  
as yourself would know this."  
  
Keitaro frowned at Motoko's choice of words. "Man of honor?"  
  
Motoko grinned at him. "Yes, honor. I know that we may have  
  
had our differences in the past, Urashima-san, but deep down I've  
  
always held you in high regard. You are a man of honor, Urashima. You  
  
are intelligent, brave, and always willing to make sacrifices for the  
  
greater good."  
  
Keitaro didn't like the sound of that. "Er... sacrifices?"  
  
Motoko was quick to reply. "Of course. Sacrifices. Like now,  
  
for instance. Surely you can see that the only way to resolve this  
  
situation is to chop off your hand!"  
  
At that, Motoko raised her sword and started bringing it down  
  
towards Keitaro's arm. The terrified dorm manager managed to grab onto  
  
her arm, however, preventing her from executing her plan.  
  
"You can do it, Urashima. I know that you can overcome a small  
  
setback like a missing hand and get back to a normal life in no time. I   
  
shall forever be in your debt. Now please let go of my arm so I can fix   
  
this!"  
  
Keitaro felt a burst of strength inflame his body as he  
  
realized that Motoko was serious about her threat. Miraculously, he  
  
managed to wrest the sword away from Motoko's grip and grab hold of  
  
her wrists to prevent her from moving.  
  
"Please stop, Motoko-chan! This isn't necessary! I know  
  
where we can get help!"  
  
"Impossible. It's totally impossible. It's just... too  
  
freaky."  
  
Naru put the yardstick Kitsune had given her down on the  
  
living room's center table and glared at her best friend. Kitsune  
  
picked it up and regarded her with an amused smile.  
  
"Naru, I'm serious about this. I swear that when I put  
  
this baby against it, that's where it ended. I put a mark on it right  
  
there, see? What do you think, Shinobu-chan?"  
  
Shinobu took the yardstick from Kitsune, a bit confused as  
  
to why it was being given to her. She wondered if it was appropriate  
  
for her to be present in this conversation. She certainly didn't think  
  
so, but she didn't want to leave either. As a growing girl, she was  
  
starting to get... curious. She glanced at the mark on the wooden  
  
measuring instrument and instantly blushed.  
  
"Well, I'm not really sure what to think. I mean, it is  
  
kind of hard to believe but the world is full of strange and wonderful  
  
things that--"  
  
Naru interrupted Shinobu by grabbing the yardstick and  
  
throwing it back onto the table. "But nothing! This is crazy. I can't  
  
believe we're even having this conversation. I can't believe you'd  
  
resort to lying just to get a laugh off of poor Shinobu-chan, Kitsune.  
  
It's not very nice of you."  
  
Kitsune raised an eyebrow at Naru's remark. "Well, why don't  
  
we go up to Motoko's room and find out for ourselves? Unlike your  
  
amazing punches, Motoko's attacks seldom displace Keitaro by more  
  
than a couple of meters. He should still be there."  
  
The three of them made their way towards Motoko's room and  
  
knocked on the door. When Motoko didn't answer, Shinobu called out  
  
to get her attention.  
  
"Motoko-sempai, it's us. We just want to know if Keitaro-sempai  
  
is still in there. Please answer the door."  
  
The three girls waited a while longer, but it didn't take  
  
long for Kitsune to run out of patience. She lightly pushed Shinobu  
  
out of the way and opened the door to Motoko's room, revealing its  
  
contents to all.  
  
Kitsune shrugged at the nasty looks Shinobu and Naru were  
  
giving her. "Let's just go in. I'm sure that Motoko wouldn't mind--"  
  
The three of them started dumbstruck at Motoko's room. The  
  
last time they were inside it, the room had been immaculately clean.  
  
Now it was a mess. School supplies, clothes, furniture and broken  
  
pieces of wood were scattered everywhere, as though a struggle had  
  
taken place in the room. As for Motoko herself, there was no sign of  
  
her.  
  
"That last time was wonderful, Keitaro. If I had known that  
  
you were so good in... you know... I would have done this with you a  
  
long time ago. I couldn't believe the size of your... I mean... you  
  
were just amazing. I just need to ask one thing... how did you know  
  
that I liked it... rough."  
  
Keitaro smiled broadly and put one of his arms around Motoko  
  
as he lay beside her. They were lying in the middle of a clearing on  
  
the floor of Motoko's room. He had his head propped up on one of his  
  
arms. He pulled Motoko closer to himself with the other so that her  
  
head rested on his chest as he answered her question.  
  
"I know everything about you, Motoko-chan. In fact, I'll bet  
  
I know you better than you know yourself. It was easy for me to figure  
  
out your preferences."  
  
Motoko raised her head to look at Keitaro, her one true love.  
  
"Let's go away, darling. Away from this life... away from  
  
everything. We can live in the mountains, just you and me! I can catch  
  
food and you can take care of things back at home. We can live on our  
  
own, without anyone else bothering us."  
  
Keitaro shook his head. "I don't know about that. Wouldn't  
  
it be a bit unfair for you? I mean, you'd be out all day hunting or  
  
whatever and I'd just be lounging around at home."  
  
Motoko giggled as she replied. "Oh, I'm sure you're going to  
  
have your hands full once the kids are born."  
  
"That's the only thing that could possibly have happened. They  
  
obviously ran off together to live in the mountains!"  
  
Shinobu started hyperventilating as she mulled Kitsune's words  
  
over in her mind. "Keitaro-sempai and Motoko-sempai... doing perverted  
  
things... running off together... mountains... having children...."  
  
Naru took the frightened little girl in her arms and tried to  
  
comfort her. "Shinobu-chan, don't listen to Kitsune. What she said...  
  
it couldn't possibly have happened. Kitsune, I told you to stop scaring  
  
Shinobu like that. You know she has a fragile mind!"  
  
Kitsune shrugged once more. "You can indulge in denial as  
  
much as you want, but the evidence speaks for itself. Motoko and  
  
Keitaro aren't here. Where would they be if not the mountains?"  
  
"Actually, it looks like they're headed for the park."  
  
Naru whirled around in surprise at the sound of the voice. She  
  
found Su hanging upside-down from the ceiling of Motoko's room.  
  
"Su! How long have you been there? How do you know where  
  
Keitaro and Motoko are?"  
  
Su executed a perfect flip to get down from the ceiling. She  
  
landed on her feet and raised a small, circular object into the air.  
  
"The Keitaro and Motoko detector! It detects the presence of  
  
all Keitaro and Motoko-like organisms within a ten mile radius! Amazing  
  
isn't it? I designed it myself."  
  
Naru took the detector from Su and looked at it. She was able  
  
to see two small dots moving away from the center of its screen, which  
  
she assumed represented the user.  
  
'Wait a minute! If these two dots are really Keitaro and  
  
Motoko, that must mean that they're together. Why would they be walking   
  
around together in public unless....'  
  
A mental image of Keitaro and Motoko raising a family in a  
  
log cabin located in the mountains passed through Naru's mind. The  
  
thought sent shivers down her spine. Naru stood up and addressed her  
  
companions with her most authoritative voice.  
  
"Come on, everyone. We're going out to look for Keitaro and  
  
Motoko!"  
  
"Are you certain that Seta-san will be able to help?"  
  
Motoko whispered into Keitaro's ear as the two of them  
  
walked along a busy sidewalk towards the area where Seta's van was  
  
parked. Her hair was tied up into braids. She was wearing a baseball  
  
cap, dark sunglasses, and her traditional samurai clothing. The  
  
embarrassed warrior would have changed her clothes as well, but the  
  
glue had seeped straight through her hakama and taking it off was  
  
impossible. For his part, Keitaro had changed out of his pajamas  
  
and was wearing his usual clothing.  
  
Keitaro replied affirmatively, fearing for the continued  
  
health of his hand. "I think so. When I called him on the phone  
  
before we left, he told me to go to his van right away."  
  
The two walked together for a few more meters in silence,  
  
ignoring the curious gazes of the people around them. Motoko whispered  
  
her complaints to Keitaro.  
  
"Everyone is staring at me. They can no doubt see the shameful  
  
positioning of your hand and are thinking of how I must be a wanton  
  
harlot to allow you to touch me in such a manner."  
  
Keitaro gulped as he replied. "Somehow, Motoko-chan, I don't  
  
think that's the reason they're staring."  
  
Motoko turned towards him in confusion. "What do you mean?"  
  
Keitaro pretended not to hear Motoko's last whispered words.  
  
He had no idea how she would react if he told her that her outlandish  
  
clothes were the things attracting attention. He was saved from having  
  
to answer her when a familiar white van came into view.  
  
"Oh look, we're here."  
  
"Wow, I thought you were joking on the phone but I guess I was  
  
wrong. I've never seen anything like this. Motoko, could you turn this  
  
way so that I can see it better?"  
  
Motoko grumbled as she rolled onto her stomach over Keitaro's  
  
knees. Their position... it looked like she was a child getting  
  
spanked for being naughty. It was humiliating! Still, she was willing  
  
to endure any embarrassment if it meant her separation from Keitaro.  
  
She was starting to get used to the feeling of his hand on her bottom,  
  
and that fact scared her enough to ignore trivial things like a little  
  
embarrassment.  
  
Meanwhile, Seta poked and prodded at Keitaro and Motoko's point  
  
of joining while looking at it through various vision-enhancing tools.  
  
Finally, he took a digital camera from his desk and took a picture for  
  
filing purposes. He cleared his throat before talking.  
  
"Well, this is certainly a very interesting predicament you've  
  
gotten yourselves into. Tell me, Keitaro, how do you plan on separating   
  
yourselves from each other?"  
  
Keitaro got to his feet with surprising speed and grabbed Seta  
  
by the older man's coat. "How do we plan on separating ourselves from  
  
each other? I don't know! I told you it was an accident! You're the one   
  
who should answer that question. It's your glue!"  
  
Seta shook his head in dismay. "Please be more quiet. You'll  
  
wake Sara. She slept late last night and she needs her eight hours. As  
  
for your problem, Keitaro, I'm sorry. I really have no idea. That's an  
  
industrial strength adhesive substance. It's supposed to be able to  
  
glue an elephant to a table."  
  
Motoko grabbed Seta as well, shaking him violently after doing  
  
so. "If you didn't know how to help us, then why did you have us come  
  
here?"  
  
Seta grinned apologetically as he scratched the back of his  
  
head. "Well, I was curious. I wanted to see."  
  
Motoko facefaulted, bringing Keitaro onto the floor with her.  
  
She fought the urge to burst into tears as she got back up.  
  
"Fine, then. If you cannot help us, I have no choice but to  
  
take matters into my own hands."  
  
Once more, Motoko attempted to separate Keitaro's right hand  
  
from his arm. She was shocked when Seta blocked her attack by trapping  
  
the blade of her sword by the tips of his thumb and pointing fingers.  
  
"There's no need to get carried away," Seta intoned as he  
  
took Motoko's sword from her and placed it inside a high cupboard.  
  
"I'll take this for now, just so you don't try anything drastic  
  
like that again. The two of you need to go to a hospital. The people  
  
there will probably know what to do."  
  
Seta turned towards Keitaro and handed him a fresh tube of  
  
glue. "Here, take this. The last batch ran out, right? You should be  
  
more careful using these, Keitaro-kun. Accidents like this are bound  
  
to happen if you aren't."  
  
Naru waited impatiently as Kitsune pointed another one of  
  
Su's inventions at Seta's van. It was supposed to be able to pick up  
  
even the slightest sounds coming from inside, allowing them to listen  
  
in on whatever it was that Keitaro and Motoko were talking to Seta  
  
about. Shinobu was sitting beside her and Su was fiddling with the  
  
detector that had allowed them to find Keitaro and Motoko. The four  
  
of them were hiding in some bushes close to where Seta's van was  
  
parked.  
  
The annoying thing about Su's invention was that the listening  
  
instrument came with earphones, not speakers. Only one of them would be  
  
able to listen. Kitsune and Su were the only ones who knew how to use  
  
it, but Su wanted to man the Keitaro and Motoko detector. The rest  
  
would have to wait until Kitsune was done before finding out what the  
  
matter was.  
  
Finally, after several minutes that seemed to last ages for  
  
Naru and Shinobu, Kitsune put down listening device and turned to her  
  
companions.  
  
"Look, we got here a bit late so they were already talking  
  
when I started listening. Still, I was able to figure out what happened  
  
from what little I managed to hear."  
  
"I'm pregnant," Motoko declared. "Keitaro and I just found out  
  
this morning."  
  
Seta nodded thoughtfully, raising a finger to his chin. He  
  
placed his hands on the table in front of him before speaking.  
  
"Well, I suppose the most important question is whether or not  
  
to keep the baby."  
  
"Of course we're keeping it! That child is the symbol of my  
  
undying love for Motoko!" Keitaro slammed his fist on the desk to  
  
punctuate his point.  
  
Seta nodded slowly. "I see. Well, I would like to help you but  
  
I must admit that I'm not an expert on these things."  
  
Motoko stood up from her chair and picked up the bag of clothes   
  
she and Keitaro had packed in case they had to elope. "Fine, then. If  
  
you cannot help us, I have no choice but to take matters into my own  
  
hands."  
  
Seta put his hand on Motoko's shoulder and pulled her back to  
  
a sitting position. "There's no need to get carried away," Seta intoned   
  
as he took Motoko's bag from her and placed it inside a high cupboard.  
  
"I'll take this for now, just so you don't try anything drastic  
  
like that again. The two of you need to go to a hospital. The people  
  
there will probably know what to do."  
  
Seta turned towards Keitaro and handed him a fresh box of  
  
contraceptives. "Here, take this. The last batch ran out, right? You  
  
should be more careful using these, Keitaro-kun. Accidents like this  
  
are bound to happen if you aren't."  
  
"That's what I think happened."  
  
Shinobu's mouth fell open after hearing Kitsune's story. Her  
  
eyes started watering and her lips started trembling.  
  
"Are... are you sure, Kitsune-san? Did you really hear all  
  
that?"  
  
Kitsune nodded vigorously. "Of course I heard it! Well, I had  
  
to fill in some blanks in the beginning before we got here but I heard  
  
most of it with my own two ears."  
  
Su chose this moment to ask a question that had been bugging  
  
her. "What are contraceptives? Are they tasty?"  
  
An awkward silence fell over the group of girls, lasting for  
  
a few seconds before Naru decided to pretend she didn't hear anything.  
  
She shook her head before speaking.  
  
"I don't believe a word of it. You probably heard wrong or  
  
something, Kitsune. Keitaro wouldn't try anything with Motoko."  
  
Kitsune raised an eyebrow and turned to Naru. "Why wouldn't  
  
he try something, Naru? Motoko's a pretty girl. Keitaro's a nice guy.  
  
Why do you find it so hard to believe that something might be going  
  
on between the two of them? Why are you in such denial over this?  
  
Could it be that you have a thing for Keitaro too and you can't accept  
  
that Motoko-chan beat you to him?"  
  
Naru blushed beet red and turned away from Kitsune, unable  
  
to meet her friend's eyes. "Of course not! Me and that idiot? It's  
  
impossible. All I meant was that Keitaro is too much of a wimp to  
  
make a move on Motoko, even if he did like her."  
  
Kitsune chuckled softly as she pointed Su's listening device  
  
at Seta's van once more. "Whatever you say, Naru-chan. I'm going back  
  
to listening for clues."  
  
Su interjected at this point with a loud shout. "You won't be  
  
able to hear anything in there anymore. Keitaro and Motoko left while  
  
you were talking!"  
  
Kitsune stood up immediately, followed by her companions.  
  
"They already left? But I told you to warn us if they went  
  
away!"  
  
Su answered Kitsune's question cheerfully. "No you didn't.  
  
You told me to watch for the two of them leaving. I did that. I saw  
  
the two of them leaving. I watched them!"  
  
"Please wait here. The doctor will be with you in a moment."  
  
The attractive nurse that had met Keitaro and Motoko at the  
  
emergency room left to tend to another patient. Motoko didn't like  
  
sitting on Keitaro's lap, her legs supported by his right leg and  
  
her bottom supported by his hand. The nurse had been very insistent,  
  
however, saying that if she kept sitting on Keitaro's hand the  
  
circulation of blood would be blocked. She had left her disguise at  
  
Seta's van, too, making the whole experience even more embarrassing  
  
for her. She just hoped that no one she knew would come in.  
  
"Ara ara, fancy meeting the two of you here."  
  
Motoko cringed as she heard the voice. Keitaro's reply  
  
confirmed her fears even before she could look for herself.  
  
"Mutsumi-san! What are you doing here?"  
  
Mutsumi stood in front of Keitaro and the blushing girl on  
  
his lap, smiling brightly. "Well, I felt a bit faint earlier so I  
  
thought I'd go here just in case. I'm glad that I found you here,  
  
Keitaro. I'm not really used to doing this and it's nice to see  
  
some familiar faces."  
  
Keitaro frowned. "You're not used to going to hospitals?  
  
But I thought you had a weak constitution. You should have been inside  
  
hospitals hundreds of times."  
  
Otohime nodded slowly. "Well, that's true. It's just that  
  
I've never been able to make it all the way to a hospital before. I  
  
always used to collapse along the way. All the times I've been to  
  
hospitals before this, I was carried inside on a stretcher. I don't  
  
really know what to do if I'm still conscious when I get here."  
  
Keitaro nodded slowly. "Well, in that case, why don't you  
  
wait with us over here? The nurse told us that a doctor would be  
  
coming anytime now. He can take a look at you too."  
  
Mutsumi put her hands together in front of her and smiled  
  
brightly. "What a wonderful idea!"  
  
Mutsumi then lowered herself onto Keitaro's left lap. She  
  
took the tube of glue he was holding in his left hand and held onto  
  
it for him before pulling his now free appendage onto her bottom.  
  
Keitaro promptly developed a giant nosebleed and passed out. Motoko  
  
clenched her hands into fists in an attempt to remain calm as she  
  
spoke.  
  
"Mutsumi-san, why are you sitting on Urashima's lap?"  
  
Mutsumi looked blankly at Motoko for a few seconds before  
  
answering. "Ara ara, was I not supposed to? You were doing the same  
  
thing so I thought that was what I was supposed to do. Am I supposed  
  
to look for my own man? But I like Keitaro. Can't we just share him  
  
for now?"  
  
"Where do we go?"  
  
Naru ran through the hospital like her life depended on it.  
  
She had to find out for sure if Kitsune was right. Not because she  
  
was interested in Keitaro, because she wasn't, but because she was  
  
worried about Motoko. She did not want her friend to make a mistake  
  
that she would regret for the rest of her life. Yes, that was it. She  
  
was worried about Motoko. It wasn't because she cared about Keitaro,  
  
because she didn't.  
  
"Turn right and go straight ahead. It's the second door on the  
  
left. Hurry, before they escape!"  
  
Su ran effortlessly beside her companions. She wasn't sure  
  
what game they were playing, but it was such fun! Like a cross between  
  
tag, hide-and-seek, and a race!  
  
"Hurry, everyone. We might miss them again!"  
  
Shinobu ran with practiced ease, thankful that she had chosen  
  
to run off crying whenever confronted with unpleasant thoughts in the  
  
past. She didn't look like it, but she could run for miles before  
  
getting tired.  
  
"Hmmm... I wonder what we'll see when we catch him...."  
  
Kitsune grinned as she ran alongside Naru and the others. She  
  
was dead tired, but no amount of aching muscles would prevent her from  
  
finding out if her theories about Keitaro and Motoko were correct.  
  
"You don't understand. It's not my preference to sit on his  
  
lap like this. The nurse told me to do it. You must get off of him  
  
before the doctor gets here!"  
  
Motoko growled in frustration. No amount of explaining could  
  
make Mutsumi understand what was going on. The woman was completely  
  
dense. A total blockhead. It was no wonder that she had failed her  
  
entrance exams so many times. The only thing left to do was to wake  
  
Keitaro up. Perhaps, being a blockhead himself, Keitaro would be able  
  
to explain the situation to Mutsumi.  
  
"Keitaro, wake up! I need your help. Wake up!"  
  
Keitaro mumbled something unintelligible, but failed to  
  
awaken. Motoko grumbled expletives about useless pieces of trash  
  
before trying again.  
  
"Keitaro, wake up! Keitaro I need you!"  
  
Motoko was about to try calling out to Keitaro again when  
  
she was interrupted by another voice.  
  
"Oh no! It's true!"  
  
Motoko froze. This was definitely not turning out to be her  
  
lucky day. She feigned nonchalance as she turned around.  
  
"Shinobu-chan, it's not what-- Kitsune-san? Naru-sempai? Su?"  
  
Before Motoko could say another word, Naru interrupted her  
  
with a barrage of angry shouts. "Keitaro you jerk! Not just Motoko, but   
  
Mutsumi-san too?"  
  
Motoko saw Naru's image blur and disappear right before her  
  
eyes, reappearing a few inches beside her. Motoko's jaw dropped in  
  
amazement as Naru hit Keitaro with a powerful uppercut that sent him  
  
and Mutsumi flying through the ceiling.  
  
"Enemy of women! Die!"  
  
Motoko stared in shock at the hole in the ceiling. Who was  
  
going to pay for the repairs to that? Was Keitaro going to die? How  
  
did Naru... wait... Naru's punch had ripped Keitaro's hand off of  
  
her hakama! she was free! Free! Motoko grabbed Naru into her arms  
  
in a bear hug, her heart filled with happiness.  
  
"Oh thank you! Thank you, sempai! Thank you so much!"  
  
Naru stroked Motoko's back as she hugged her friend in return.  
  
"Don't worry, Motoko-chan. It's fine now. Everything's going  
  
to be alright. It's over."  
  
"Ouch...."  
  
Keitaro opened his eyes and shook his head. What had happened?  
  
Where was he? Why did he feel like he'd just been run over by a truck?  
  
Why was Mutsumi lying beside him, unconscious? Was that her soul coming  
  
out of her body?  
  
"Mutsumi-san! Mutsumi-san, wake-up!"  
  
Mutsumi's eyes slowly fluttered open. She smiled upon seeing  
  
Keitaro. It always made her happy to see him. Her body was hurting all  
  
over, though. Apparently, Naru's attack had thrown them into a wide,  
  
open area with lots of trees. It looked like a park of some kind. She  
  
checked herself for injuries and immediately noticed that something  
  
was amiss.  
  
"Ara ara, why am I holding onto Keitaro-kun like this?"  
  
Keitaro looked towards where Mutsumi was looking and found that  
  
her left hand was wedged securely between his legs.  
  
"What the... let go of me!"  
  
Mutsumi made several light tugs, followed by a harder one.  
  
Unable to pry her hand from Keitaro's crotch, she smiled and spoke  
  
up to tell him of her problem.  
  
"Ara ara, it won't come off."  
  
Author's Rant  
  
Most authors like to think of the author's notes as the place  
  
to put all their little remarks and stuff about the hows and the whys  
  
of the fic they wrote. I prefer to think of it as a space where I can  
  
write whatever I want and have people read it.  
  
First off: Tenjo Tenge. I've been led to believe that any  
  
person who likes Ikkitousen would like this. I like Ikkitousen, but  
  
I hate Tenjo Tenge with a passion that is normally reserved for an  
  
annoying band called Hanson.  
  
Now I like action and fanservice more than the next guy, and  
  
Tenjo Tenge has both in spades, but did it have to have the most  
  
annoying cast of characters to ever grace the pages of a manga? I  
  
absolutely hated every character in that manga, including the cute  
  
girls giving fanservice! And I never hate the cute girls giving  
  
fanservice.  
  
Every time I see the uber-annoying main character, I feel  
  
an urge to peel off my own skin using a nail cutter. That stupid chick  
  
who likes him so much is a close second in annoying me, followed by  
  
the main character's best friend and the stupid chick who likes him.  
  
The only character who was halfway likable was Takayanagi,  
  
and even he grates on my nerves. There's something to be said for  
  
making a manga with a cast of characters that I universally hate. Like  
  
getting a zero on a true or false exam, it's actually pretty hard.  
  
Makes it seem like the creators actually made an effort to make me  
  
not like their work.  
  
Tenjo Tenge sucks, and I may never forgive my friend Jeff for  
  
telling me that it was good and wasting an afternoon of my life that  
  
could have been better spent crushing Duolon users with Malin at the  
  
local arcade.  
  
Another annoying thing that has recently inflicted itself  
  
upon my life was the Philippine elections. I hate Gloria Macapagal  
  
Arroyo's guts, but I support her with every fiber of my being. Simply  
  
put, just about any other candidate would be better than Fernando  
  
Poe jr. Oh, how I hate that man.  
  
(takes a deep breath)  
  
Well, now that I've gotten that out of my chest, we can move  
  
on to better stuff. First off: I am proud to say that if you go to  
  
ff.net and look up the latest chapter of A Time for Wild Horses there,  
  
you'll see that WarpWizard has read it and kinda sorta liked it.  
  
Yosh!  
  
No offense to my other readers (you know I love you all), but  
  
it is my humble opinion that this guy is simply the best lemon writer  
  
on the internet today, bar none. True, he may not be coming out with  
  
new chapters for his Shinji/Rei lemon as fast as I'd like, but he's  
  
still cranking out solid stories at a good pace. I love his work, and  
  
when I found out he liked my work too I cried tears of joy and ran  
  
out of my room to tell all my family and friends.  
  
No, wait, what actually happened was I smiled calmly and sent  
  
a text message to Vex telling him to check out the reviews for my fic  
  
and die of envy.  
  
Speaking of people who like me (and there aren't that many,  
  
let me tell you), Chester has recently rejoined their ranks. Apparently  
  
he feels that this particular fic is the greatest of my works and must  
  
be worshipped by giving me burnt offerings. I'm just getting more and  
  
more popular every day, aren't I? Anyway, I have a feeling that he's  
  
just trying to make up for all the yaoi references he made me endure  
  
when he made me a pre-reader for Shonen.  
  
In a slightly related tangent, I've been reading the fic,  
  
Cat Tails by Chris Dee. It's good. Any person who knows anything about  
  
Batman must read it. Words have not been conceived that can properly  
  
convey the sheer awesomeness of that fic. I love it.  
  
I've also been watching lots of anime. Midori no Hibi is very  
  
good, as is Hanaukyo Maids la Verite. Verite isn't coming out with any  
  
new eps, though. Where can I get Verite eps! I want maids! Cute maids!  
  
I've also been watching Tenshi na Konamaiki. It's kinda girly,  
  
though, so I won't get into that too much. I'm sort of scared that I  
  
enjoy watching it, because I kinda feel that I shouldn't. Anyway, I do  
  
enjoy it and I guess that's all that matters.  
  
I hate Soga, though. Fujiki rules all! Bow to the awesome  
  
character that is Fujiki! I'm always impressed when average people  
  
try to transcend their limits and become more than they used to be.  
  
Ikkitousen was nice. It had no plot to speak of and really  
  
stupid characters, but I found it funny. I liked Koukin and Mou-chan.  
  
King of Fighters '03 has also figured a lot in my life. Malin  
  
is simply unstoppable. Combined with with the strength of Athena's CD  
  
attack and King's keepaway game, no stupid Duolon/Goro/Tizok player  
  
has been able to defeat me in quite a while. They've become like those  
  
K'/Terry/Iori/Kyo fanboys that I love to beat up on. Seriously, what  
  
is it about those Ryu-type characters that makes them so popular?  
  
Fanboy: "Must... use... popular... character...."  
  
Oh well, as long as they're using such crappy characters  
  
my Malin will always be there to eat them alive.  
  
Something strange happened to me last week. I haven't played  
  
Capcom vs SNK 1 in months, but I decided to try it to kill time one  
  
afternoon. Lo and behold, I was unstoppable! No one could beat my  
  
amazing Vice/King/Nakoruru team! Not even those stupid, stupid Ryu/Ken  
  
players or that one guy who uses Guile and turtles the whole way.  
  
As for Soul Calibur 2, I have reached a point where I am once  
  
again content with my power level. With my arsenal of Talim, Ivy, Taki,  
  
Sophie, Cassie and Mina, none shall dare oppose me. Nightmare player,  
  
tremble in fear of the fact that I have memorized your frame data!  
  
While I'm on the topic of video games, I'd like to thank that  
  
dude who sent me a torrent for Watanabe fighting games. I am now a  
  
proud player of Queen of Hearts '99, though I'm no expert yet. I really  
  
like the 2 on 2 fighting feature. I have no idea what the point of  
  
Glove on Fight is, though. Thanks, man!  
  
I'm attending the Magic: the Gathering Fifth Dawn pre-release  
  
by the way. Wish me luck! I hope I crack open some Vedalken Shackles!  
  
What else should I put here... oh yeah! I'd like to thank  
  
Chester for his help on this. He said he liked this, so it shouldn't  
  
be nearly as bad as the stuff I normally write.  
  
Finally, my want-list:  
  
.Jose Argao's Amazing Want-List.  
  
1. Japanese Rom of Super Mario Bros 3 (.nes format). You'd think this  
  
would have been the first thing I got out of my list. Come on, you can  
  
even email it to me! I can't believe no one has this. I want it! Hoshi!  
  
2. News on new Saigado releases. My old sources dried up. Dunno what's  
  
going on anymore. I heard something about a Guilty Gear thingy.  
  
3. Mp3 of the Hand Maid MAI ending song. Not Hand Maid May. Mai. It's  
  
the one with the dancing chibi-Mais. (a vid of the dancing chibi-mais  
  
would also be cool)  
  
4. Instructions on how to play Glove on Fight. I have no idea.  
  
5. FFX-2 fics. I'm in a reading mood, and I'd like to know if there's  
  
a site that houses FFX-2 fics and doesn't have yaoi. No offense to  
  
yaoi lovers, but I just dun like it.  
  
6. The cool pepsi commercial. Where can I download the pepsi commercial  
  
with Britney, Pink and Beyonce? I like it a lot. Very funny, and you  
  
don't have to listen to Britney's annoying voice so much.  
  
7. Invader Zim. Where can I get episodes? I love this series!  
  
Please send C&C to ukyorulzedsamail.com.ph 


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